Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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