I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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