That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Green mimosas i think yes
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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