I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
