quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
