she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
