You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize