Dual....:-)
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
