I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
