when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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