areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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