My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wear drunk well.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
