Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
