on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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