your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
