Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
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you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
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I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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