Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
