Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
