I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
