Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
