when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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