Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
