I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
