You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
