we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
