Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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