I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
