Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
