I just cut my nipple shaving
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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