He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
