I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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