I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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