the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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