Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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