why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
