she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
they need to just BURY HIM!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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