Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
