Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize