There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
