i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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