you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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