I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dick very happy bro
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
