the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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