i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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