wat bout pragnant strippers??
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
