I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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