i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
