I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
