escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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