The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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