I could make wine with my vomit
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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