Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
