No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
