piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
