idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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