I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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