About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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