New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
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my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
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Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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