He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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