I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
