god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
