I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize