Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He passed out mid-signature
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think your dad took our porno
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
