Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
