I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
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I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I will pee on everything he values.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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