She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
