So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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