Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
